At least three people have, in the last month, asked me something along the lines of, ‘How come you’re so happy? What’s your secret?’ To this my answer is, invariably, ‘Crack!’
But it got me thinking. If I am, as these people seem to think, unusually or remarkably happy, surely I should share my wisdom with the world. So here are some tips, not from a guru or a life coach — I don’t claim to be remotely qualified to dispense any such advice — but from someone who is indisputably and genuinely … happy.
First, I should say that a lot of my happiness and confidence to do the things that make me happy come from having a ridiculously and unreasonably wonderful and supportive family. Which is, admittedly, just sheer luck. But apart from that, I say fuck luck! Design your life, shape your happiness.
For example, be ruthless in your friend selection (and deselection), and once you have surrounded yourself exclusively with wonderful people you love and admire, who make you better, tell them so, loudly and often.
Skip. Skipping is magnificent, as Michael will now explain:
Don’t stalk people on Facebook. It never leads to anything good. At the very least it makes you lazy and unproductive. At the worst it makes you jealous, weird and stalky!
Make a mess when you eat.
Don’t learn too much about fine food and drink unless you can afford to eat the good stuff on a regs. I was raised on cheap plonk and some of the best evenings I’ve had were spent cackling with amazing humans, sitting on some plastic chairs, drinking whiskey from the bottle, eating chicken on a stick. And then, when I get to try some of the good stuff, it’s a bonus.
Get lots of sun, which means live somewhere sunny if you can (but wear sunscreen).
Find an exercise you like and do it lots. Since you ask, I recommend dancing but if cheese rolling is your jam, knock yourself out! Exercise should be neither a chore nor a thing of great pride. And, with that in mind, if you want a cake, just eat a fucking cake, unapologetically. Don’t whine and pout about how you have no self-control blah blah — you’ll ruin the lovely cake. Enjoy it properly and if it gives you a big ass, wear your curves, love handles and wobbly bits like badges of honour, like medals you won in cake-eating battle!
Get really good at something and teach someone else how to do it.
This one just in: avoid The Real Housewives of New York (probably true for all constructed reality shows of this nature but this is the one that crept on to my TV this morning). Tis time-wasting brain rot.
Be polite. Manners cost nothing but you get way more free stuff when you’re nice!
That’s it! Go forth and be cheery!
And… in case you need any more persuading, I’ll leave it to Pharrell: