Amazing Tshirt slogans

There are quirks about this city that i have come to heartily adore. Among them are:
-The camaraderie and banter among the professional girlfriends hanging out in the bars.
-The times like last week, when the plinky plonk of Thai country music floating out of a restaurant beat-matched perfectly with Jay Z’s Tom Ford in my earphones and I got a mad remix.
-That I can,  with absolute certainty, be assured that somewhere, right now, in this city, some bar is serving free-flow prosecco for ladies.
-The frequency with which i am addressed as ‘Sir!’
This happens more often than you might expect

This happens more often than you might expect


But, of the many splendid things about Bangkok, my absolute fave is the fashion. Bangkok is home to quite the style spectrum. It’s at once irrefutably ‘hip and cool’, not to mention ‘chic and trendy’ whilst at the same time utterly stuck in the eighties.  The fashionistas include grungies in baggy plaid flannel shirts, cuties in floral playsuits,  tomcats in Dickies and screaming queens in fuscia short shorts. I saw a smoking-hot girl chilling at Coffeeworld in T21, waiting for her barista friend to get off work. In the middle of the day she was wearing a skin-tight, short, black body-con dress (and Gurrrl, she was WEARING it!)  But not at the expense of her comfort, oh no: her feet were cosily ensconced in a pair of Crocs. Quite the combo.

And this is to say nothing of the woman on the MRT, first thing in the morning, in a patent leather, zip-up dress and 6 inch stiletto leather boots. This chick had some criminals to disarm with her own brand of vigilante justice and she wasn’t about to let rush-hour traffic slow her down.
Superheroes use public transport

Superheroes use public transport

But the best part of Bangkok fashion is the fabulously, artlessly and hilariously mis-translated, baffling or simply wildly inappropriate T-shirt slogans that are wandering around town unappreciated and unchecked. Please allow me to regale you with some of the corkers I have witnessed and enjoyed….
Nairy a day goes by when i don’t walk past someone sporting a shirt bearing something totally befuddling, along the lines of:
As if you’r looking for blue sky happy [sic]
And I feel challenged! I mean, am I? and if so, why the lack of faith?
OR
John…. Can you help me get a wife?
In fairness, homeboy wearing this nonsense WAS in Nana….

OR

I'm fat, really?

I’m fat, really?

Is this a terrifying moment of realization? Or an expression of disbelief?

An enormous gentleman had the following, in bold, colourful lettering, stretched taut across his belly:
Cool story, Tell it again, Brio

Does he feel the story requires a little more vim, pep and indeed, brio?

Is it a misspelling of Biro?

Or is it in fact a spectacularly failed attempt a sarcastic retort?

There are the shirts that suggest there is more to the story:

....why? what happened?

….why? what happened?

There are the heart-meltingly cheesy ones:
Warm puppies for everyone!

Warm puppies for everyone!

It seems a shame the ladies surrounding the wearer were unable to bask in the toasty warmth of any nearby puppies.

OR this:

‘nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness of the wood before sunrise’

I wasn’t sure if it was soul-soaringly poetic, a naughty euphemism in disguise or just a Google Translate disaster.

Some are, frankly, downright offensive:

well!

well!

I witnessed one young lad rocking around town in a Tee which blared:
You’re fucking worthless
Which got me down a bit, I won’t lie!
Another fellow was spotted casually strolling along, sporting this cheerful mantra:
Drink
Smoke
Fuck dead people
I wish I had a photo of him,  He just didn’t look the sort!
And this little treasure rather jumped out at me, given that I found it in a chintzy dairy farm shop:
yummy LSD

yummy LSD

One of my very sweet students came to class in a T-shirt bearing the very distinctive ears of Minnie Mouse, under which was scrawled ‘Bitch please!’
Which I sort of endorse, I love the idea that Minnie is a shady diva:

Minnie has HAD it!

Minnie is OVER it

From the harmless to the hilarious, these Tees share a commonality. They are being worn. So my wondering is this: do the wearers rock them ironically, or to shock? Perhaps they are being worn out of necessity after a big night; borrowing the ‘spare T-shirt’ is surely a fairly common phenomenon in BKK. Or maybe they can’t read the English and just like the colour. Which got me thinking about the preponderance of T-shirts designs and tattoos, in languages other than English, walking around London. Chinese characters are particularly popular – perhaps we all fancy ourselves zen masters and Tao philosophers. And and I wonder to what extent they are accurate….or culturally appropriate. I rather like the idea of lazy screen-printers or impish tattoo artists assuring their customers ‘Yes! it says ‘Love, Seek and Dream’ trust me!’ All the while chuckling to themselves because, in truth, it reads ‘my mother stinks of fishballs’. Or maybe some druids, straying from their stone circles, overhear some douchebag in a coffee shop explaining that the celtic script around his bicep reads ‘Give thou thine heart to the wild winds’  and shake their heads at each other in the knowledge that it says ‘mine bowels moveth apace’.

Just bear it in mind, dear friends. Having seen, just today, a grown man wearing a T-shirt that said:

to see the good land baby hedgehog can make you wonder

I feel like anything is possible.

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