The Dangers of Disney

Eff you, uncle Walt

It has come to my attention that an alarming number of girls have distorted views and expectations of men, love and relationships. Now, I fancy myself something of a detective and  you will be delighted to hear that I have discovered the source of all the trouble! My shaming finger of blame is waggling directly in the face of magic-mongers, Disney. Here is the crux of my mini thesis: Disney movies are toxic. The things that young impressionable girls learn from the tales of Disney princesses are useless, baseless and destructive. And yes, I can back up these emphatic claims. In the words of the Genie in Aladdin, ‘why don’t you just ruminate while I illuminate…..’

Disney Princesses

Cinderella: this blonde bombshell with a broom teaches us that if really terrible circumstances befall you (you know, like your mum dying and your dad remarrying someone really unsuitable who kills him off and treats you like shit), chin up, all is not lost. Have a chat with the animals, be good and nice (oh, and beautiful – that is crucial) and fate will arrange it for you to be flung in the path of a handsome prince who will pursue you by any means possible and take you away from all of the pain. What’s more ladies, your worth as a suitable mate is directly linked to very specific physical attributes like your shoe size.

The Little Mermaid: Ariel says,  ‘Hey Girls! Radically change your very nature and you will get the guy and be blissfully happy with him FOREVER.’

Pocahontas and Jasmine: the lives of these women suggest that if you pick a wildly unsuitable man of whom your parents don’t approve or who doesn’t understand your culture or background, worry not! Love will prevail! He’ll learn… they’ll come around!

Mulan: is a badass. And has a pet dragon. I have no beef with her – carry on babe, do your thing.

Snow White: men employed to kill you will take pity on you because you’re so pretty.

Snow White and Sleeping Beauty: whatever  has happened, even if you are almost or even entirely dead, a kiss from your one true love will make it all OK.

snow white and the seven dwarves

Broadly speaking, the message is this: everyone has a ‘one true love’ and if you are good and beautiful they will find you and know at once that you are the one and then stop at nothing to wed you. And, once you achieve the ultimate life-goal (marrying the handsome prince – obv),  it’s plain sailing from there on.

And all of this is spoon fed to young women folk, with a lovely big dollop of magic, butterflies, unfeasibly enormous dresses and some catchy songs to really hammer the message home. Nice. This is why women are crazy! And not just the crazy ones either. Some of my wisest, most worldly and free-thinking, strident feminist friends have fallen foul of this nonsense and found themselves befuddled and confused when contemplating their futures.

Because REAL ACTUAL LIFE, on the other hand, teaches us that:

Beautiful people are rarely any happier than the rest of us, nor are they often blissfully in love forever after. In fact, it seems the really difficult bit is the ‘actually maintaining a marriage’ bit. I would like to see a Disney Princess ‘where are they now’ special about how it all went for Ariel and Eric, when she actually had to deal with the reality of being where the people are, walking around on those… what do you call ’em? oh, feet! And eating with forks etc. Or how Snow White got on with dealing with her Prince’s insecurities about her having previously lived with seven men.

People who change fundamental things about themselves for their partner usually end up unhappy, resentful and unfulfilled. Badly matched couples who get together in a whirlwind of romance and or rebellion have a really hard time communicating in the long term.

There is no one true love: there are any number of people you could fall for and with mutual respect and appreciation, you could make it work with.

I know none of this is very romantic but that’s the gritty side of the myth-busting business.

PS. ‘Under the Sea’ is a TUNE

PPS. Where can I get a pet dragon?


16 thoughts on “The Dangers of Disney

  1. Chrissie Handies Cartwright

    Ha ha! Brilliant and so true! …. The guys have a hard time too tho…. Don’t think there’s many guys who can really cope with the pressure of being Prince Charming…. attracted to a vacuous, superficial, good (but not a lot else) young lady whose relying on them to rescue her and make everything ok… think 5 yrs time when she’s still gotta visit the awful step mother, etc and he hasn’t made everything happy ever after! What happens if they actually prefer a badass independent young lady who can think for herself , takes responsibility and stands up for herself and possibly has bigger than size three feet?

    Uh oh!

    Love your independent sassy blog!

  2. Amy

    Nooooooo!!! I DO see your point Shorty Pants however this does break my Disney loving heart a little! Beauty & the Beast is another worth a mention – go and live with an abusive man and you will transform him…ummm…not likely!

    1. nickyscribbles Post author

      Yes! Exactly!!! But it’s ok, LoLo is going to get the whole new band of cooler, sassier Disney women like meriden in Brave and Tiana in the princess and the frog. And she can still watch lion king, that’s full of good life-wisdom. So all is not lost! Steer clear of rapunzel though, she’s a bit if a wally! Xxx

  3. Clem

    How does Meg in ‘Hercules’ rate on your Disneymeter? You were always pretty keen on her!

    1. nickyscribbles Post author

      I love Meg, she has sass! but as i remember it, she sold her hero to the devil and had to be rescued by that same hero. Not sure what the message is there…..! x

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    1. nickyscribbles Post author

      Wow, you’re mad at Nickelodeon, hey? I have to say that in my limited (English) experience of it, i learnt some useful facts of life – from the likes of Tia and Tamera and found a lifelong role model in Alex Mack. But real talk – there are lots of things that are damaging to little ones- you’re right. But none, i think, as insidious as Disney. Because it’s wrapped up as so wholesome and aspirational and the disney dream is fed to kids (especially girls) at SUCH a young age. But, as you say, they are not the only culprits. Will someone PLEASE think of the children?!?!? * clutches pearls *

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